It was many years before she gazed again upon the mountain where she had met the one who had by now all but erased her from the story he so passionately shared. Through the archway of another mountaintop ruin she looked out upon the sweeping scene and thought of what had been lost so long ago—her innocence, the child, for a time her ability to make sense of anything at all. The soldier who had walked down the mountain with her had stayed close. His kindnesses and the angels who sang her to sleep each night and the birds in their forest had rekindled her hope in a new day.
She saw so many stories alive on the mountain—the boy, the deer, the Teacher, the lion that was to her both father and son. She saw the Mothers here, too, and herself—studying the scripture, walking in the Way, dancing to the tambourine. There she saw the trapper, the boy, the angel, the wolf, the turtle.
She saw herself again in that moment in the room of rock high on the mountain, face to face with the one who had called her friend and whom she had loved. She would have trusted him with her life before he turned his back and gave her over so easily to the motley crew of soldiers. He had been only spring to her. He had been the one with whom she knew was meant to share and teach.
So much lost. For what she did not know.
She did not know anymore how to feel. The last look back was a long letting go that would follow her through the ages. She gave thanks for it all, remembering how the spiral of time would lift it from her and set her right again in time.
This painting was inspired by my visit to the South of France on two visits in 2016 and by what I know by heart—soul memories from the life of Mary Magdalen. Connect to your essential story of life with “Last Look Back (All Things Lost).”